Skin-Deep Honesty

Flashback Summer: Skin-Deep Honesty

Since I began blogging last October (it's almost been a whole year!), I have found the online vintage community to be welcoming, encouraging, and a heck of a lot of fun.  I have learned so much from all of you, not just about vintage hair techniques and clothing, but also about life.  I appreciate the genuineness and authenticity that I find on a lot of vintage blogs, and I have decided that it's time for me to talk about something that I feel pretty vulnerable about: my skin.

Now I realize that more often than not, subjects like weight, build, etc. tend to come up more among women these days, but everyone has something they're insecure about, and mine is my skin.

You see, since I was a young teenager, I've had trouble with acne, and in my freshman year of high school I developed psoriasis, an eczema-like condition that causes my skin cells to reproduce too quickly.  This makes my skin itch, flake, turn red, and perhaps swell a bit in the affected area.  (That was a thorough explanation there, sorry!)

I've always felt very self conscious about my skin, because it seems that the other girls and women around me have not had so many problems.  Especially now that I'm going to be 22 this year (two years out of teen-dom!) and I'm still dealing with acne, there are just some days that make me want to hide inside with a giant hood over my head.  (These are what I call "bad face days", like a bad hair day.... but for your face.)

Of course, I have tried many different things to help my skin, and it is healthier now than it has been in many years.  I have a prescription cream and lotions to help with the psoriasis (it really is loads better than it used to be!), and I take birth control and use other creams to help with the acne every night.  The clearness of the skin comes and goes, of course, as the hormones fluctuate, but I'm feeling much more positive about my skin than I have in a long time!

I still have scarring from the years of skin-struggles past and still have those off days where I don't feel as confidently as I'm typing now, but more and more every day I'm taking hold of the truth that God has made me beautiful despite what I see as my flaws.  He has hand-crafted each of us women to be the gorgeous masterpieces that we are, inside and out, and we have value and worth because of this careful, loving attention.  

While we aren't beautiful or worthwhile simply because of our looks, I think there is something that needs to be said for them!  A woman that is comfortable in her own skin (in this case, quite specifically in her own skin) and has embraced the fact that she is beautiful both inside (character and intellect) and outside (the bod), and works to develop that beauty more to become who she wants to be..... Dang, that woman is a force to be reckoned with, in a great way.

Thus, I am striving to be authentic and real with you guys on this blog.  Sure, I don't have the incredible skin that lots of other ladies are blessed with, and, sure, some days I will use that "retouch" button on my blog photos because I'm just not comfortable with posting them how they are.  However, I'm hoping that as my skin does continue to heal and get better, and as my confidence deepens and my beauty becomes more real to me, that those "retouch" days will become fewer and further between, and I'll learn to be truly comfortable in my own skin.



8 comments

  1. Lovely post & brave of you to share, I have similar problems with my skin so I can identify... you can often see it on my arms and legs in photos. To be honest I see no problem with retouching photos if you want to, it's your blog and should be about what makes you happy/comfortable x

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    1. Thanks Helen Mae! Just so you know, I haven't noticed anything in your pictures before. I pretty much just see your awesome outfits and general gorgeousness. :)

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  2. Thank you for sharing--I know how hard that can be. I'd definitely agree that we as humans are at our strongest when we recognize that we were made beautiful both in soul and body by a God who still believes that we have that beauty. That being said, I do have to slip in the little reminder that we (your faithful little readers) all think you are a very lovely young woman. :) Good luck on your journey towards accepting your own beauty in all of its uniqueness, skin troubles and all!

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    1. Thank you so much Lisa! I appreciate your support and encouragement very much!

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  3. I can understand you. I had acne for many years and I did not want to go outside, so ashamed, but go ahead ... You have been very brave today sharing these feelings with us, that makes this blogger family connection between girls, we all have our own insecurities and our fears, but talking about them helps to be understood and feel better. You are a beautiful girl!

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    1. I'm glad to have someone else that understands! Thanks, Rosy!

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  4. It takes a significant amount of courage to speak openly and frankly about those things that trouble us the most, dear Emileigh, and I really applaud you for doing so in this post about your skin. There are a lot of things I'm not happy about when it comes to my own appearance and have suffered from self-esteem/self-confidence issues throughout my whole life. You are so spot on when you say that you're beautiful despite your flaws. We each are - in fact, that older I've gotten, the more I've come to see that it's often the very flaws we despise (in ourselves) that make us the most beautiful, because they help to paint the overall unique picture of who we are and the strength that we've displayed to rise above (or at least stare eye-to-eye with) our challenges.

    You are a tremendously beautiful person inside and out, honey, and an inspiration to all who know you.

    ♥ Jessica

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  5. I completely understand! I still have problems with my eczema along with a few other issues that flare up every now and then. I used to really hate my skin. My whole face was covered in acne until I was in college - then I just had the scars for a few years. I totally know what you mean about having bad head days - ha I used to not care as much, but since I've gotten older and no one else seems to still have these problems and I'm reading articles about people calling in sick, it sometimes affects me and I wonder if I should also hide myself as well. Obviously that's preposterous, but it's amazing how people can make offhand remarks that affect your whole week. I love what you wrote about accepting yourself. I'm in my late 20s now and I feel like this is the first year that I'm truly accepting myself and my flaws and not caring about what I look like. Before there was always something that I was insecure about, but it's just silly to worry about it.

    Also, not sure if care or not, but my acne, while it got significantly better in my 20s, really only went away a few years ago when I started using the oil cleaning method. I know it sounds weird, but apparently oily skin and oil repel and make your skin glow and look refreshed. (Or at least, that's how it worked for me.) My acne is basically non-existent now, as are my scars. Check out Crunchy Betty's post on the oiling cleansing method if you're interested. Fwiw, I use a blend of olive and castor oil and a few days after using it, I realized my skin wasn't oily, but it was in fact dry and the products I was using to try to control the oil were making my skin go crazy.

    Anyway, it sounds like you're in a great place and of course you're so lovely. Thanks for the topic and your great thoughts!

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