In a Fashion Identity Crisis






Currently I'm in a bit of a fashion identity crisis.  These hit me every once in a while with a vengeance, so I'm figuring out how to work through this one, and you're going along with me for the ride!  I've also included photos of some of my worst, best, and most... unique style moments.  (I didn't even include my gangsta, basketball wannabe, duct tape, Rasta, or Altoid-tin-belt phases!  They could be worse!)  Some might be costumes, some not. I'm not going to incriminate myself by telling you which ones are which, haha!

But back to the subject of this post: I've been feeling frustrated with my wardrobe lately.  I look at my closet and it just seems like randomness. All. Over. The. Place.

I'm having trouble mixing and matching my wardrobe, and I feel like I'm constantly wishing I had something to make an outfit, like I'm making do with what I've got but never really having what I need.  I like all my clothes, but I'm not sure they really speak to me.  That's a total fashion-minded thing to say, but I'm sure you readers understand!

I'm also struggling with this idea that my clothing isn't fully communicating who I am to the world effectively.  I feel like it's missing something.




I have goals of joining the military soon, and my husband is as well.  I've also been given a position of leadership recently in my offline life, and I'm hoping to plug into my community and connect with the ethnic and cultural minority groups in my area.  I will probably be interacting with leaders soon because of this, and I feel like my image doesn't present as strong and powerful as I would like it to.  I'm also feeling a pull to modernize my look a bit to avoid looking old-fashioned, in a bad way.  Lastly, I've lately been feeling like others underestimate my capabilities often because I'm petite and look young.  I think my look needs to become a bit stronger and edgier to make up for this.

All of that being said... Now what do I do?!  Yesterday my emotional response was to sell all my vintage and buy a wardrobe that would look like the costume racks for "The 100," "I Am Legend," and "Divergent," but my rational self took over and said that might be a bad idea, so I've held off.  I feel like I'd lose a part of my by ditching vintage completely. Therefore, since I'm obviously confused, I'm starting a process of figuring out what I actually want in my wardrobe and discovering clothing that I will not only like but will also speak to me and communicate who I am more effectively.



Obvious identity confusion.
Today I'm starting work with the Coletterie's "Wardrobe Architect" series.  I've started an inspirational Pinterest board to help sort my thoughts and see if they work together, and I did an exploratory trip to the mall to see what's available these days.  (I wear vintage all the time... I haven't been to the mall in a LONG time.)

I'll be sharing my progress as I go, and I'm not sure where my style will end up!  It's definitely going to be a journey, so if you see my style changing a bit you'll know why.  Oftentimes the wardrobe experimentation needed for this sort of thing may result in some strange combos, but I'm hopeful I'll figure it out and have an amazing, me-ish wardrobe at the end!


Oh yes. Mandi Moore hair, braces, and a choker with an "E" on it.  Classic. Can't believe I'm sharing this on the interwebs.
Have any of you experienced a fashion identity crisis?  How did you work through it?  Are any of you currently in a crisis? What things have made you realize your wardrobe isn't working for you?

37 comments

  1. I am going through this right now too, not for the same reasons (I'm not sure I have a reason as to why this just happened to me). I just don't have any direction. I have just started wearing jeans because I am lost and do not know what to do. I wish you the best of luck.

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    1. I wish you luck, too, Brandy! You should check out the Wardrobe Architect series; it has REALLY helped me sort out my thoughts.

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  2. I've been there. What I did was pick one person whose style fit my end goal, made a list of items/styles she wore, and went shopping for those. I tend to take my style cues from TV characters because good costume designers dress them very intentionally and to make a visual statement of who they are, and that makes it easy to identify key components to get certain messages across. The character I chose was Emma on Glee, so I kept my eye on bright colors, especially. If you want professional, maybe look at a Parks and Rec lady? Or if you want to update some vintage, look at Agent Carter and update her 40s workwear. It's at least a concrete place to start thinking.

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    1. That's a good idea. Agent Carter is actually an inspiration for this wardrobe overhaul. :)

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  3. I've been doing the same thing, and posting it all on my blog. The Wardrobe Architect series is pretty spot on. Can't wait to see your progress!

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  4. I think we all go through this, it's just when you have a blog that contains photos of your style, you looks are documented. If you go through phases or explore different silhouettes or styles, perhaps it somehow makes it feel more obvious, when otherwise you wouldn't notice as much. Does that make sense?

    I used to dress more of the punk side with a rockabilly bent, then more 50s and rockabilly, then I was really into more 40s styles for awhile. And I still love the 40s styles, but a lot of it no longer speaks to me. It was exactly as you said-- "I like all my clothes, but I'm not sure they really speak to me." I struggled for awhile trying to figure out that what I enjoyed *looking at* in terms of vintage clothing wasn't necessarily what I wanted to *wear* or *felt right in*. I love rayon dresses, button-back nylon and lace shirts, puffed sleeve blouses, wide legged pants... but after awhile I started to feel kind of frumpy or stuffy in most of that. Or I felt uncomfortable, and I'm the kind of person who always like to be comfy. Sure, I'll still wear them on occasion, but it's nowhere near in my daily rotation.

    So over time my style has morphed a bit. Lately I go for kitschy and fun fit-and-flare dresses (okay, successfully fitting them well in sewing was a huge part in this!), cardigans, colorful shoes. Basic solid tops with cotton full skirts. I LOVE to accessorize. And lately, I'm getting way more into figure-hugging trousers. I think I may have replied about this on a comment you left on one of my posts, but because I'm petite too, I've come to realize those are more flattering and make me feel MUCH cuter about myself. Less like a short girl wearing a tall girl's clothes. So I'm having a lot of fun building some style ideas for spring and summer around those styles of pants. I'm also going to sew the Ginger Jeans pattern at some point. A very modern pattern but there's a higher waist style, and I think it can totally fit in with how I've been dressing lately. Pulling in a few of the modern style elements I like (some which are throwbacks anyway, like pointy flats), and matching it with vintage and retro/repro/me-made/etc pieces. And usually things that are pretty care-free in terms of laundry, otherwise I just won't reach for them regularly.

    Sorry for the tl;dr. Let's just say-- we all go through it. Enjoy the ride... I'm enjoying mine. :)

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    1. This is great stuff! I am coming to the same conclusion on the pants shape. I like the bagginess of 30s and 40s shapes, but I feel like it just isn't as flattering, like it makes my legs look shorter than necessary. I think I'll still be able to get a 40s look, I may just adjust the fits. Or I might pair 40s tops with modern pants; I'm still working it all out. :)

      I'm also going to look up the Ginger jeans pattern now!

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  5. I TOTALLY know what you're going through. I've always dressed really 'good girl', went skirts only for a loooonng time, bought all my clothes from the women's department (even before I actually fit into them), and experimented with full-immersion vintage for about two years. Recently, I've felt the need to look a little less sweet, and a little more tough. For a couple of reasons I went through a spell of feeling less-than kick-butt, and now that I'm feeling a little more sassy, I want to dress sassy. For me, that means doing a lot more rockabilly, rocking high waisted pants, and makeing eye liner a regular thing for the first time.

    Good luck! I can't wait to see your style journey, that's the most exciting part!! :)

    PS-you might want to check out the blog Dean Street Society from Hilary Rushford. She's got some great tips!

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  6. I have absolutely been there. (I also completely identify with being a petite and young-looking lady! That can be such a challenge to overcome!) When some big changes happened at my work, a change of duty for me (a promotion of sorts) came along with that, and I found that my wardrobe needed to be a little... edgier, I suppose. More polished. I was going to be working much more with clients and customers, so I had to make a great impression. But I didn't want to lose my sense of self, either!

    What I found was that if I took that classic vintage office look and just tweaked it a little, I had a look that not only grabbed people's attention for the right reasons, it still allowed me to be me. Pencil skirts, cashmere knits, wiggle dresses and cropped jackets (along with modern statement jewelry) have become my go-to items for work. Because it's a timeless look, it's easy to find that balance between vintage and modern. And sometimes that modern jacket or necklace or shoe is all that's needed to really update a look; modern and vintage pieces can work so, so well together, so definitely don't throw out all your vintage!

    Anyway, I know that turned into a novel, but that is what worked for me; I just thought I'd share. :) I hope you can find the best solution for yourself, too! It might take some experimentation, but that's sort of the fun part!

    Cheers,
    Jenny

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  7. Think about it though, styles are constantly changing so to be stuck in a 1940s style for 20 years wouldn't be what history had dictated either. I think it's about finding what "you like" about the certain styles and what drew them to you. For me, it is the artistic side more than anything and the tailoring. But, I don't dress in vintage everyday but I do think about it :) Also, accessories bring so much to the table. Maybe you should also think about what types of accessories you really like. I think vintage accessories are for the most part, quite cheap and can brighten a modern day outfit.

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    1. That... is a VERY good point that I hadn't thought of. I am definitely drawn to tailoring, and I think my style is shifting more toward tailoring details and textures as focal points rather than color and print, like mine has been lately.
      And accessories are TOTALLY going to be a mainstay in my look. I collect accessories wherever I go because they're smaller and portable, and there's no way I'm giving those up!

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  8. I completely understand what you are dealing with and your reasoning for going more modern. I have struggled with this on occasion and still do sometimes, but somehow I always circle back to my old clothes:) However, I have always thought that you can still be modern while wearing vintage....something I like to call by a my made up word "Invintaged"......thus re-inventing vintage and using/wearing it in a modern way. You might try using some of your versatile vintage pieces when going for a more modern look, and through this you will still be able to hold onto that side of you that loves old clothes while being able to embrace a more modern style/look!!!
    -Madison
    www.1minniemuse.blogspot.com

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  9. I experienced this a few years back, before Coletterie had their Wardrobe Architect series. What I actually did, is I blogged about it and created my own series entitled Finding Your Style to help myself, and others who might have been experiencing the same issues as I was. Since then I think I have finally established what I like, the silhouettes I look good in, and the message I want to convey.

    I think, if this is what you want, you could totally still dress vintage and look "powerful". There are SOO many looks out there from the 40's/50's that say power, while still being feminine. Just look at the tailoring on some of those 50's suits! Very feminine, but still create an impactful image of sophistication and finesse.

    I hope you'll be able to figure it out, and don't worry! We'll be here to encourage you along the way!

    Blessings,

    Brigid
    the Middle Sister and Singer

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    1. Oh, and one last thing that came to me just now. Whenever my sisters and I have worn vintage, wherever we go we have always stood out, in a good way. I think wearing vintage, which is so different from what people are wearing today, imprints you on people's minds better than if you are wearing what everyone else is wearing.

      Hope this helps you!

      Brigid
      the Middle Sister and Singer

      boyerfamilysingersblog.com

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    2. I totally agree, and that's the main reason that I could just say, "Forget vintage! I'm going to wear mall clothes!" I like looking like an individual!!!

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  10. I'm going through the same thing too. I've been bumming around in jeans a lot and I've also come to realize that my work wardrobe really needs to be more professional. Like you, I don't think I want to give up vintage all together, but I'm giving myself permission to invest in and enjoy other styles.

    You are still young and just went through a huge life change (getting married) and considering another (joining the military) so it's totally normal to feel like your identity and your wardrobe are changing. Plus it's fun to do different things sometimes! Can't wait to see how you evolve in this area.

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    1. I've had to give myself permission, too. That's a really good way to describe it. I almost felt like a sell out or a traitor, especially since my style is very public as a blogger (as you understand), but then I thought... Why would people care? It's my clothing. I have to live in it. Imma do what I want!

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  11. "I look at my closet and it just seems like randomness. All. Over. The. Place."
    I completely feel the same way about my wardrobe! There are so many pieces I LOVE but don't have much to pair with. So it sits in my closet forever. I wish I had a bajillion bucks to buy stuff to match it and call it a day, but I am way too conservative with my money.

    Truthfully, I think the best answer is always to keep things and just keep adjusting. I think it would be cool to do some sort of fashion fusion with vintage clothing and modern "divergence" look. It would be tricky, but it probably will be a lot of buy one pair of pants & one new shirt, see what goes with it. Then you know what to look for next time you go shopping. Repeat.

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  12. I haven't read that wardrobe architect series, but I will now. I've been writing one of my own, too - specifically for vintage, but the style portions apply to non-vintage as well. Plus, there's a quiz! Seems to help focus your style and choose pieces that support your goals. At least, it has for me.

    http://noaccountingfortaste.com/category/build-a-vintage-closet/

    Scroll all the way down and start with step 1 :)

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    1. Well, I'm glad I didn't read her series before I wrote mine - it's a gazillion times better and I wouldn't have even bothered!

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  13. I feel like I go through a Fasshion I density Chrisis every few years or so. I'm finally getting into the groove of the new me. I found Sari's Wardrobe Archatect series as a great help. I also used some theories from Dressing Your Truth. It's a program geared toward letting your personality guide your dress. I didn't take the course, but there's enough stuff on the website to see what style matches your personality.

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  14. I think it is really interesting that you are planning on joining the military soon, I really hope you keep on blogging because I would be interested to read about your experience. This is actually something I have considered for myself in the past and actually kind of regret not going into.
    In terms of your wardrobe crisis, I feel like the strong masculine silhouettes of the 40s really exude dominance and strength, so if you wanted to retain a vintage look that is something that could work for you. Also I love womens military uniforms from that era!

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    1. That's actually the same conclusion I came to yesterday! I figured out why I like the "Divergent" look, and matched the same idea with pieces that are vintage and communicate that message. I think I've got a pretty good idea of how to fuse the styles, and I'll be posting about how it goes!

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  15. I'm starting to wear more vintage and vintage inspired clothing but I feel like I'm still very early in that process and deciding how far I want to go. And before this I never felt like I really had a style and I was "goth" as a teen. Now I'm just trying to buy things I love and go from there.

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  16. Going through that now, it doesn't help that it's cold as heck and I don't want to get out of my jammies most days. It's perfectly ok to explore styles and I'm learning to do that at 45. :)

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  17. I have totally been here! And feel this way a bit now still! There are a few things I think are important to keep in mind when going through one of these... Don't act in the moment. Give lots of thought to items in your wardrobe. Take out everything! And I mean EVERYTHING. Try it all on. Get rid of items that don't fit, are too worn, etc. If the item does fit, ask yourself if you would buy it again. And remember, dress in the manner that makes YOU feel good. Don't keep something because so-n-so likes you in it.

    Also, I have totally kept things in my closet because I was seeking a position in a certain place, but I then realized it didn't matter. And of course that is going to be different for every position, but it is something to keep in mind.

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    1. I've had to tell myself not to act rashly, haha! I think I'm on a good course right now, and this weekend will be my see-what-you've-got-and-clean-out-the-closet time!

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  18. I go to work with vintage clothing /vintage inspired clothing every single day ... I worked in a musical/cultural/artsy enviroment before, now I work in for quite a big company as assisant goverment business. If we have official visitors in the office, for sure I dress down (simple, boring, modern hairdo - no big petticoat) but I wear vintage. A 40s or 50s dress paired with a blazer can look super professional - wearing something like this might make you appear stronger and more chic than the other ladies with their pants and cardi .... Maybe this office vintage look makes my vintage blog -as a vintage blog- a bit boring, but this is what I wear to make my living. :)
    I'm pretty sure you will find your way in vintage or in modern fashion to impress people in your professional life.

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  19. I don't usually have wardrobe crises, exactly, but I have gone through periods where my style will shift in a way that I have to redefine my wardrobe a little bit. It's less "sell it all and buy new stuff" than it is figuring out new ways to wear things that I already have, and maybe picking up a few pieces here and there.
    I do understand your issue, and I think it would be a good idea to take a little step back and look at things a little more objectively. Obviously I don't know all of the things that are in your wardrobe, but from what I see on here, you have quite a few items and are tailored and professional looking. Structured suits, blouses, wide leg trousers, fitted (but not tight) knee length skirts - those are all staple items in a professional wardrobe. Just make sure you keep the styling subdued and modern, and no one will think you look old fashioned.
    As far as the randomness goes, I can't tell you how often I'll have a week where I feel like I have nothing to wear, and then I do a load of laundry, reorganize my dresses, take care of my mending pile, and all of a sudden it's like a whole new world. Just taking an afternoon to play around with your clothes can be really helpful as well. Sometimes just pulling things out and trying them on, even if you don't think they'll work together, can be a great source of inspiration.

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  20. I have gone through something of my own wardrobe identity crisis in the past, so I feel ya! Part of what I did recently was go through my closet, try on EVERYTHING, and then identify exactly how I felt about things. I think at least 80% of my clothing is neutral colors. I was able to identify that there were items I liked a few years ago, in college, but I wasn't loving now, and I told myself that it's okay, I'm not the same person I was back then and I don't have to wear the same clothing. Most of my clothing tends to fall into two styles - classic (dark washed jeans, slightly drapey tops, button-up shirts), or something that's post-apocalyptic/military-inspired (extra pockets, fitted). I realized I love button up shirts with sleeves that roll up and have a strap to button them in place, and those honestly straddle the line of both categories. I also tend to like things with a vintage feel. I dislike things with a strong pattern but I favor things that feature interesting texture or details. Hmm...this is actually giving me some blog post inspiration of my own! Lol - anyway, good luck. It sounds like you're on the right track to solving your crisis. I'm also glad to see Coletterie - I've never come across it before and it looks interesting!

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    1. Ha, good! Glad to add to your blog fodder! That's a good point, that you aren't the same person you were a few years ago, so you don't necessarily have the same style. True story.

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  21. It seems very logical that life changes, and particularly career changes, will bring necessary style changes. Your image isn't just about "expressing your personality", as many people seem to think it is. You have to feel that your wardrobe fits into who you are and where your life is as well. I often feel drawn to styles that I think would be perfect for me if I was still teaching, but have no place in my work-from-home-mum life. (Or that I would *love* if I had an office job, or went to cocktail parties...ever!)

    For the moment I'm doing my own lazy wardrobe analysis. Each day I imagine the perfect outfit that I wish I had for that day's activities, and write it down. The patterns jump out pretty quickly!

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    1. Oooo, that's a really great idea! Imagining the perfect outfit and finding the patterns, a very good idea...

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  22. One's wardrobe should be a constant work in progress, ebbing and flowing as your life and tastes change. There's nothing that says your closet only has to have one type of style. Goodness, no! In fact I wrote a post back in 2012 called How Many Personalities Does Your Wardrobe Have? all about the fact that my own style, though almost always vintage centered, has an abundance of influences and styles within the larger vintage header (from goth to 1940s collegiate to classic 50s homemaker. You define what your style is at the end of the day. No one else can label it but you and because of that you are free to constantly change, stay the same, return to old favourites, you name it. Happiness (with what you're wearing) is key, not whether something fits under a certain prescribed header or not.

    Take it from a fellow short lass (I'm barely 5'2"). Dark colours, shift dresses, skirt suits, classy high heels, a bold smokey eye (seriously), and pulled back hair can all make you seem both taller and older.

    ♥ Jessica

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  23. My problem is I've created clothes not a wardrobe. Nothing to mix and match and thats what I've been trying to slowly rectify. So until I fix that I'm always frustrated when I open the doors of my closet. I'm now making sure that vintage clothes I make will work with modern clothing because somedays the only thing I want to do is run a straightener thru my hair, put some jeans on and walk out the door.For me vintage looks take work and time, something I'm not always in the mood to do. But after I've just put a whole lot of time knitting,sewing or crocheting something I'm going to wear it no matter what mood strikes me.
    I do get what you mean by "The 100" wardrobe comment. Half the things I want come from what I've seen on tv or in the movies. Every Land Girls sweater and Katniss's impractical over the shoulder wrap type thing would be more then welcome in my closet. :)

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  24. I love this post, but I REALLY love the pictures. I've been thinking along similar lines. What to do? I'll be thinking, too.

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  25. I've seen your posts before and have admired your style for awhile. Im turning 37 soon so quite a bit older then you and I have to say I played with my look a lot when I was your age. However, I was always drawn to vintage. I didn't get the courage to wear full on vintage until I turned 35 and now I love it and wear it every day. Don't sell the vintage my feeling is you will regret it later. At least find ways to incorporate it into a new look
    retro rover

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